melodiesofeternity

[Though she wants to fault him, she can't; had Euphy not relived the memory, Cornelia would have taken the exact same approach. Why worry Euphy when everything indicates that nothing will happen? Why drown out her belief that she'd brought some good to the world before passing with more spilt blood than she can conceptualise? Why ensure that however much time she has remaining will be wrought with grief for the people who she'd fought so hard to make happy?]

[The unpredictability of his power is why. The unfamiliarity of Vaikuntha is why. The indelibility of Geass' curse is why. And it all enrages her.]

We can't justify complacency through uncertainty or through hope. Preparations should have been made regardless. They will have to be made now.

[ Wants to fault him but can't... Yet still feels like she's scolding him a bit? Or at least assigning some blame. Which isn't necessarily wrong either.

Or it could be Lelouch is reading too much into it. All of this is uncharted territory for him - for them all really. He's never expected that he'd have to deal with the fallout. How cold he have? Death is death. He has no plans. No contingencies. Not for all of this. Even now his focus is primarily on trying to accumulate knowledge of this world. ]

And how do you suggest we do that? Sequester her away from everyone when something the slightest bit suspicious begins to brew? Right now we don't even know what is standard or unusual for this world.

[ He sounds irritated, but it's not aimed at Cornelia. Right about now they share the same frustrations. Or similar ones. Lelouch doesn't like unpredictability and being unfamiliar with his terrain. ]

[He ought to just accept that she said "we" instead of "you".]

I don't yet know, but you are sorely mistaken if you think I intend to allow your curse to deny her any more of her freedom. [The spite is back. The resentment. The bitterness. She breathes, centering.]

If the information you have on Vaikuntha is inadequate, then you will tell me more about Geass. Can it be resisted or overcome?

[ In his defense, the "we" isn't true camaraderie. More like she is going to be keeping an eye on him so it's more a forced alliance than any actual desire to work together to achieve something. ]

I wasn't going to. As if I could. [ She isn't the type of person that should be caged. The world needs more people like Euphy in it, honestly. ]

It can be resisted and broken, depending upon the will of the person. I've managed to break our father's. So did Nunnally. Euphy resisted far longer than I've seen anyone else manage.

[ He rubs the back of his neck. That will probably be a sore point but... ]

Edited 2018-06-30 15:34 (UTC)

[Distrusting, distrusting. It was an acknowledging we, an understanding we, a we that was meant to say she would also have found ways to justify complacency so that Euphy wouldn't have to suffer the truth.]

[Eyes sharpen at the mention of their father; they're damned near squinting when Lelouch confirms that he had Geassed Nunnally as well. Then they close at the revelation that Euphy had fought to remain herself, and they stay closed for a while as she just breathes. There will be time to address everything else later. Father and Lady Marianne and Lelouch and Nunnally. Now, however, is for Euphy.]

Does Euphy have a better chance of breaking it if she's aware of the effect it has on her?

Of that I'm not too sure. What I do know is it usually has to deal with how opposed you are. For me, the first time the Emperor rewrote my memories it didn't work too well. I was unstable because he forced loyalty to him in this memories. It was at such odds with my true self that it caused an internal conflict.

[ Which is why Lelouch couldn't make sense of what had been real and what had been fake. ]

The second time I knew something was wrong, but I didn't fight it. It would be because he did't force anything upon me that would have caused me to.

[Considers a lot of things. Considers the nature of their father's Geass, though not its existence -- VV had already acknowledged Charles' ties to the Order, and it only stood to reason that he'd obtained a Geass as well. Considers what Lelouch must have gone through in the year after the SAZ distaster. Considers the depths of his hatred for their father and wonders how Clovis got caught up in it -- why he was the only one Lelouch killed without giving it a second thought. Then, finally, considers the implications of what he's saying. Considers what it could mean for their sister.]

Euphy would have sacrificed everything she had to help you create a better world for Nunnally. [Not accusational, not intending to guilt him. Reflective. Considering. She's slipping deep into thought.] If that drive was the deciding factor in her failure to overcome your Geass, then it's become irrelevant.

I know.

[ At least he knows the part about her sacrificing everything. For Nunnally. What Lelouch isn't so certain of is if that is what ultimately made Euphy "compliant." It's a disturbing thought and not one that he's entertained before. His brows knit together as he considers this. The expression is unguarded in front of Cornelia. Likely because he doesn't see the sense in hiding how disturbing that thought is. ]

If that is the case... Then the thing to do would be to change that perception.

I still don't like the thought of telling her what happened.

[Euphy has already suffered so much over the past few days that Cornelia is wondering how finite her inner light is, how much of it remains after being cast in death's darkness. The curse still exists here, though; Euphy is not safe from it, and therefore no Japanese arrival is truly safe from her. They can't use hope to relax the severity of their circumstances. They can't allow this place to weaponise her again.]

However, I'll do what I can to prepare her for the truth. [Because she can't stop Euphy from asking. Because she can't stop Lelouch from telling her. Because she doesn't know what is and is not possible on Vaikuntha. And because she believes that her sister has the strength of mind to beat this.]

I don't either, but it can't be avoided. Not forever.

[ Seeing as it will come up sooner or later. Isn't it better that they are the ones that comes forward with the information rather than wait around for more things to be unearthed? Granted, Lelouch hadn't wanted to keep it from her at all. However Euphy had been the one to shy away from it. ]

Though I wish we could give her more time. [ To adjust. To heal. ] Preparing her for the truth is the best that we can do for the moment.

[Something about him expressing such simple care for Euphy makes her uncomfortable. Perhaps it's her persisting distrust in him. Perhaps it's his agreeability. Perhaps it's because she's sharing a position, heart and mind, with her little sister's killer. Regardless, she shifts in her chair. Casts him a wary glare. Pushes back her hair ~~i just wanted to continue the rhyme shut up.~~]

Leave out the specifics. She doesn't need to know how many people were killed or that children were among them. Make it abundantly clear that the reason it escalated to the point that it did was because my soldiers abandoned their duty and the chain of command to give into their bloodlust. And know that the only reason why I am not making demands of your silence is because you understand what it's like to fight against Geass better than I do and therefore are in a better position to help her overcome her fate. If you betray even that, I will take it as a direct act of aggression and respond accordingly.

Some of those things are obvious, aren't they? I would think that part of the problem was that those soldiers had no issues following such orders. No one even questioned if she was in her right mind...

[ Which, to Lelouch, had always been a Britannian issue anyway. Too quick to cast judgment and think themselves better and superior. He shakes his head. This isn't an appropriate time and place to have such conversations. ]

I am always going to emphasize that I am to blame. It was my fault. Error or otherwise, she wasn't the cause.

Nothing about what happened to Euphy is obvious, least of all who or what was responsible. [She speaks this freely. Lelouch already knows where she stands on the matter because she has already referred to Geass as Euphy's murderer while she was directly aware that he could hear her. There is no point to pretending otherwise. No reason to, either.]

Do you care to know the first thing she said to me after overhearing us? "I'm sorry," followed by, "I didn't listen to you." She blames herself for trusting you, Lelouch, and she considers the aftermath of the SAZ disaster to be a direct result of her actions, not yours. How do you propose to resolve her belief that she's at fault when it's true that not even your hands would have been bloodied that day if she hadn't put her plan into motion? To put it simply, you can't. Your guilt won't override her sense of responsibility based on merit alone.

What happened at the SAZ was a collision between unchecked powers. Conquest. Hatred. Hope. Geass. The only people not caught in the crosshairs of that collision were those who willfully pulled their triggers. That is why I emphasised their actions.

[ He had known that she'd blame herself. For the deaths of the Japanese. That much Lelouch had always been prepared for. Her hating him and blaming him because she trusted him... That is how it should have been. To hear that she blames herself entirely - for trusting Lelouch and setting everything up? It hurts. It's unexpected. ]

None of the blood on my hands is her fault. Maybe I wouldn't have bloodied them that day. Or I might have. Who knows.

[ Only because if SAZ hadn't come to be, Lelouch probably would have done another sort of campaign with the Black Knight. But he understands that convincing Euphemia that SAZ was a good idea that went wrong.... That's the real trick. The real issue.

Still, Lelouch is even further surprised that Cornelia can see it all so clearly when he can't. What a switch. ]

You're doing a much better job keeping a level head than I.

[ He's just not doing a good job at thanking her for it. ]

[If Lelouch was someone with whom Cornelia was normally comfortable being candid, she might have made light of his last comment; certainly, it's not lost on her that her failure to keep a level head is why they're in this position to begin with. But she's wary and proud and still getting a sense for how much she's willing to offer him. For that same reason she doesn't speak of her own what-ifs, of the mistakes she made that facilitated the disaster.]

[None of that means she's against being somewhat personal, though. After a brief pause she offers:]

I've had significant time to consider what had gone wrong. [A whole damned year of just herself, and Geass, and her thoughts.] You knew enough to render questioning the circumstances pointless.

[Her tone isn't kind though, or even soft, but rather has the barking quality of a soldier on guard.]

You assume I didn't question them? [ Clarifying because that's... Well her tone puts him on edge. Just a little.] There have been several times that I questioned everything I did - if every step I took could have been done differently or if I should have acted at all. That day was no different.

[ It had actually been the one that sort of broke him. However if it hadn't have happened, where would they be now? What about their father and his designs? What about everything else that had transpired? ]

It was only "pointless" because there was nothing I could do to fix it. Pressing forward was the only option. Then, perhaps, it wouldn't have to be pointless.

[ This is all really off topic. Sort of. Lelouch rubs his temples. He actually doesn't want to have an argument. Not when Cornelia seems to have come to terms with a few things. Enough to at least approach him... ]

What I meant was that you had all the facts at your disposal while I was working from hearsay and rumour. My perspective is naturally far wider than that of your actions, your intentions, and your feelings of guilt and failure.

[Like what she said about her soldiers. Like what she hasn't said about her own inaction, her own refusal to support her sister, her own insistence that Euphy learn how to use a weapon, how to pilot a knightmare, how to kill.]

What about now, then? Are you satisfied now that you do have the facts at your disposal? Does knowing them make any of it more bearable?

[Virtually anybody could come to Cornelia with the same questions and she'd treat them as though they'd asked her something far more private. So the glare Lelouch receives in lieu of an answer isn't entirely given to him because he's doing the asking. The resentment lacing her tone is a bit deeper, though; he doesn't have the right to ask how satisfied she is, how much more bearable Euphy's death may or may not have become in light of the truth.]

Mind your place. [It is a very royal thing to say. Authoritative. Scolding. A reinforcement of who and what they've both become.] You're being far too forward.

[ Her tone isn't going to be taken lightly. Not in reality. However, Lelouch is dismissive of it regardless. He doesn't care if he's too forward. They don't have a place here. Thus her look and words are met with a soundless shrug and Lelouch returning to glance over at the pages of the book he had been holding prior to this conversation.

The truth is, the lack of an answer being supplied is an answer within itself. It's too close to her heart. Then again, didn't Lelouch already know this? Wasn't he asking just to be difficult? She can't say that her perspective is wider when, in reality, it hits so close to home. ]

I've always been that way, Cornelia.

[ Too forward. Stepping out of "place." That is just who he is. ]

[Will rise at that, every bit as done as he is judging by how he's shifted his focus back to his reading.]

No, you haven't.

[It isn't something she had planned to say; it isn't something she regrets saying after the fact. She watched him grow up. Knew him as a baby, a toddler, a child who didn't serve as a counterpoint to Euphy and Nunnally's kindness but rather another arm of it, albeit one with a more competitive streak, one with more to prove.]

[That's all she says, though. There are no confirmations, no thank yous, no goodbyes. Just the sound of her returning her chair to its place. Just the sound of the door being opened and then closed behind her. If he has anything more to say, she'll hear it but she is done responding.]

Betrayal

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