Player Plot: The Golsaucian Gauntlet

[chefbayardee]

The OOC post for this event can be found here.

Sparks Golsaucia

A. Doom Coaster: Into the Void (and other rides...)

PuPuLand and Sparks Golsaucia as a whole are rife with exotic and exciting means of entertainment. The amusement park rides are second to none, probably because there aren't many in other towns! And since it's time for the Gauntlet, there's no end of tourists from around the world looking to celebrate and let loose. The lines sure are long... but you don't have to care about that since you've got a VIP pass! Show it to the employees and presto, you move to the front of the line!

...Assuming anyone told you that you could use it to cut in lines, that is. You could be waiting in a line that's not moving, because some other VIPs (outworlders or not) leave the ride and go right back in. Maybe you're one of those people riding a ride until the end of your days! Maybe you're people watching, or far from the line, gripped with fear over a ride that's crushed your resolve. Whether it's the teacups, the rickety old roller coasters, the drop towers, or whatever else your heart desires, you better believe it's popular.

The biggest, newest, shiniest ride, however, is the Doom Coaster. Modeled after an old, skeleton-like train that oozes rust and black fog, the Virtual Reality experience is so real that some passengers seem to have the souls ripped right out of them! (The g-forces got to them, but whatever works for marketing!) The senses are assailed by a played-up, spooky adventure into the afterlife, and anyone who stays conscious through to the end gets a free t-shirt reading "I CONQUERED THE DOOM COASTER" in a bleeding font, underlined by the train cars themselves.

Think you can take it?

B. How Do We Measure Vaikunthan Cholesterol?

High-velocity amusement park rides bring to mind nausea, and you can't lose your lunch if you don't eat! All through PuPuLand are vendors of... less-than-healthy foods. Deep-fried Geezard Gizzards, deep-fried calamari, deep-fried ice cream, funnel cakes (deep-fried dough), deep-fried pizza, and- is that- is that a deep-fried salad!? PuPuLand claims zero responsibility for any cardiovascular damage incurred as a result of eating their foods. But they're the only option in the park...

So maybe you decide to leave and get food in Sparks Golsaucia proper. There are food trucks, and they're on more street corners than worldwide coffee chain Cactuarbucks! The variety is immense and a dream for any Gourmand worth their salt or any self-preserving being who's not into artery-clogging. They're a little pricier, but when the trip itself is free, why not treat yourself?

C. Moogle Marketeers

Sparks Golsaucia is dangerous for many reasons beyond the park rides and the fried foods- it houses the Tactician Guild, which works intimately with local businesses. All businesses. See, there's profit to be had in pyramid schemes as long as you're at the top, and any Tactician worthy of their asterisk would make sure that's where they are.

It may seem innocuous enough, a Moogle fluttering up to you asking if you're interested in a little work on the side. They talk about selling cosmetics, poorly-made clothes, esoteric minerals and oils, or even natural mog enhancement pills (for the pom-pom's fuzziness, naturally) with a warm smile. This company is a spiritual movement, a means of both enlightenment and exponentially growing income. It gives you a place to belong in this world, and the ability to help the newcomers find their place too!

There's just a 40,000 gil registration fee and another 20,000 for the starter kit, all nonrefundable. But maybe your contact is nice- they might be able to waive the costs if you can get a friend to sign up!

D. Are You Talkin' to Me?

The largest city in Vaikuntha means there's no shortage of crime and ne'er-do-wells. There could be a back alley shortcut involved, or you might've taken a step into the wrong side of town. It's almost as if with the turn of a corner, the bright, pastel lights of the city dimmed and flickered, well... except for the occasional red light.

But they're watching you. From across the street. From the windows. From the shadows. It doesn't matter, they're there, and you look like a target. You might hear the throaty chuckle of a Bangaa or a condescending "sho shorry" from a Hypello that forcefully bumped you as they walked by, and... did they steal your wallet?

Or maybe they're more overt, emerging from the shadows and snapping their fingers rhythmically. For more cold-blooded species, these Bangaa/Hypello thugs sure bring a lot of fiery passion to their theatrics. Maybe they deserve the money, they could probably take this on the road!

E. When the Chips are Down...

Maybe you don't like gambling on business deals and social networks. If you're a fan of slot machines, card tables, and a spin of the roulette wheel, PuPuLand's got you covered in spades. There are two casinos within the park's walls and a third just a block away from the entrance. Bet your bottom dollar you can find any game of chance, maybe some chocobo races, and if you're of a more rough-and-tumble sort, maybe even a fight club. With white mages on hand, of course; what are we, savages?

Be careful not to get too lucky, or you could end up with the wrong sort of attention.

F. ...Clubs are Wild

Night after night of Sparks Golsaucia and PuPuLand is bound to be tiresome, so maybe you're looking to unwind from your vacation. Could be a drink, or even a few hours of loud, thumping music and frenetic dancing. Unsurprisingly, they've got you covered here!

Surprisingly, there are some clubs and bars that are the quietest places in town once the sun goes down. Insulated walls, multiple doors between the outside and the club itself, and... bookshelves?! Is this an all-night library with soothing piano accompaniment and a zen garden meant to mimic the sound of rainfall? You betcha!

G. Golsaucian Gauntlet

Competitors, win or lose, are encouraged to use the results of the first three rounds of the Gauntlet in their Top-Levels, if they want. Pre-Gauntlet pep talks with a friend or rival, walks of fame, walks of shame, swarms of fans, whatever floats your boat.

Von Oktavia

H. Movements of Tiny Houses

Since smaller sorts live in Von Oktavia like Lalafell and Moogles, their houses are similarly proportioned. Smaller rooms, smaller bathtubs, smaller houses altogether. That means that while a strong hop could get you on someone's roof, a particularly bad stumble could send the whole thing crashing down.

And that costs money. Maybe you'll just look. Carefully. And never touch. Or if you do, you might have the joy of escaping the scene of the crime. No big deal.

I. Tiny Food, Big Appetites

The Golsaucian Gauntlet and a week in the lap of VIP Luxury means you're probably used to portions more... normal than what's served around Von Oktavia. While it's not quite this small, it does seem a bit closer to food for ants. So if hunger pangs happen to strike during this pit stop (typical of any road trip, really...), maybe you're inclined to take the hit to your wallet for a little extra, or maybe you're hangry and become one of those customers making a scene.

J. Mognet Central

Mognet Central is big and imposing, a stark contrast to the smaller buildings of the city. They need all that space, given how vital the net is to Vaikunthan infrastructure. It's impossible not to see this place, and maybe you want to go in.

Lucky for you, the ground floor is actually the world's largest iMog Store, with special cutting-edge products that you can't get to as easily at the Curti Center. The employees are bright and bubbly, eager to help you with all your needs. Even if you don't have the money to buy anything- they're getting paid by the hour!

K. Say Cheese!

Eventually it's time to leave and return to the Curti Center, and so everyone's gathered by the offices of the Oktavian Triumvirate. The Under-Secretary of the Administrative Assistant to the Secretary of an Executive Assistant's Assistant all but appears out of thin air due to eldritch bureaucratic magics, and shouts that a picture will be taken in five minutes.

How's your hair? Is that what you're wearing?! You still look a bit rough from the night before, maybe. Or you might just be against this entire thing, and you're trying to hide behind the crowd or duck away. That's difficult, because the arrival of the Under-Secretary of the Administrative Assistant to the Secretary of an Executive Assistant's Assistant brought with it her assistants, who are cutting off a lot of the exits. Maybe you need to use a human shield.

Or maybe you're gonna dab on camera. They never said it had to be a serious photo!

Comments

[whirluendo_of_puns]

Uendo should probably be more concerned with clearing up the misunderstanding.

Instead, Patches comes to the front of his mind and just stares at the spectacle in delighted awe.

"Is this an actual show? Please tell me this is an actual show. I will watch it. I will buy all the merchandise. I will send fan mail with Kupo Nuts. All of the Kupo Nuts."