melodiesofeternity | A Starlight Carol

A Memory of Peace

[The air is cold, and a brisk wind sends a light scattering of snowflakes swirling through the air. The snow has only begun to dust the ground, but the air carries the scent of wood smoke from the houses nearby, their hearths fired up against the cold.

A line of people travel from house to house. Three figures walk in front, followed by a line of guards in Tenebraen livery, who lead carts of gifts and food.]

Mother, isn’t it time to turn back? We’ve been at this for hours. [A gangly blond teen, nose turned red by the cold, protests. His mother, regal in a thick feathered cloak and a crown decorated with holly, shakes her head.]

Ravus, there are still more families to visit. They need us now more than ever. [Her admonishment comes gently. If she is cold or tired, she doesn’t let it show.]

At least send Lunafreya home. She shouldn’t be out in this cold. [The tone is equal measures of concerned older brother and sulky teen wanting to boss someone around. The little Lunafreya, dressed in white with cheeks flushed with either cold or excitement at the season, whines at that.]

Mother, tell him! I am the future Oracle, and I am old enough to help!

We must all do our part, Ravus. You know this, my darling.

[Young-Ravus sighs, but he stops complaining at that. If Lunafreya won’t turn back and return to the warmth of their mansion, he can’t either.
The door of the next house swings open before Queen Sylva has a chance to knock. The households of this poor section of Tenebrae have all been waiting for the annual visit from their queen. The family welcomes the royals eagerly, and although they do not have much, they offer the Fleurets hot drinks and bowls of soup as the guards bring the supplies in. The Tenebraens dote especially over Lunafreya, who rushes out to bring in gifts for the children of the household from one of the carts.

The house is filled with laughter and hope, the shadow of the war outside of their borders lifted for this moment. Even Ravus unthaws a little in the warmth and smiles as he helps walk the family’s elderly grandmother over to his mother for healing. She pats his bony arm through his starched white coat and coos, ‘oh, what a upstanding boy, our prince is.’ He scowls, and his mother and sister both giggle in unison.]

A Memory of War

[The second vision falls a few months later. The weather is warmer, and the forest clearing smells of soil and greenery. The earth is soft and fertile beneath the feet of the party gathered there, and when conversation between the visiting Lucians and the Tenebraens wanes, the sound of running water can be heard.

It is an idyllic scene, allies gathered together in peace, the Princess Lunafreya pushing Prince Noctis’ wheelchair around to show him the various blooms native to Tenebrae. Ravus stands beside his mother, proud of this place of honor with the adults rather than being relegated to play with the children.

The conversation around him is boring— affairs of state and exercise regimes for the recovering prince— and Ravus is only giving it half an ear as his attention wanders.

The Niflheim troops get the drop on him all the same. By the time any of the group hears the roar of Magitek engines overhead, there is no hope of escape. The troopers descend from above, and there is chaos.

Ravus doesn’t run. Princes don’t run, and he won’t go anywhere without his mother and sister. Around him, the gathered guards and nobles rush past, fighting or fleeing, making it hard for Ravus to scan for Lunafreya.

The sound of a gun firing is magnified in the memory, a deafening crack before an explosion of pain in his left arm. Ravus crumples, clutching at the wound. He turns and sees the expressionless mask of a Magitek Trooper standing above him, its wrist hanging at a grotesque angle to expose the nozzle of a flame thrower.

The world is transformed into heat and smell of accelerant. Sylva cries out her final word, her son’s name, as she throws herself in the path of the streaming fire to shield him. The stench of burning flesh and hair, the crackling of the roaring fire, and the heat overwhelm everything else, and for a moment, everything goes white.

At some point, the Trooper’s flame attack ceases, though the grove still burns around them. A gigantic blade stabs through the queen, who collapses like a puppet with strings cut once General Glauca jerks it back out. Ravus screams, but he’s so little of a threat that the armored man doesn’t even turn back to finish him off.

Ravus crawls to his mother’s side, reaching for her even though he knows there is no hope for her. His eye catches movement behind him, and he turns to see Regis rush past, Noctis clutched tightly to his chest and Lunafreya trailing on his hand.]

Please, help us! [He begs, but he already see the king will not stop.] King Regis!

[He lets his head sink down to his mother’s still-smoldering shoulder as he sobs in pain and fury. The Niflheims return with Lunafreya, and Ravus’ tears subside. His left arm hangs limp at his side, but he drags his right sleeve over his wet face, leaving streaks of blood and soot.]

Regis, you’ll pay. I’ll make you pay for this. [He murmurs to himself, over and over, as the two remaining Fleurets are gathered up and led back to their home by their new Imperial ‘guardians’. ]

[Gladio's face goes from soft and reverent to shocked and devastated as the memory shifts from a younger Ravus handing out gifts to the poor to a young Ravus who sees his mother die while a foreign King runs away.

He's not sure what he can say after actually witnessing those events and he doesn't want to say the wrong thing. Not now.]

... You were a cute kid. Even with that haircut. [Maybe gentle teasing about something innocent to start?]

[A terrible attempt at deflection, but at least Gladiolus isn't trying to get him to talk about the past or about his feelings. Ravus needs a moment before he can speak.]

...I'll have you know it was the popular style at the time. [Made popular because he wore it, in fact. Those were the days when Tenebraens looked up to their prince. Then there had been no more prince, just a traitor to his homeland.]

Your father was there. Did he ever talk about that day?

Probably only popular 'cause it was yours... [He mumbles the words good-naturedly, remembering how popular all of Noct's hairstyles became among the people and figuring it was much the same in Tenebrae before everything went to hell.

Of course they can't avoid the elephant in the room for long and Gladio winces when Ravus asks about his dad.]

Mom had died not long before the attack that sent them all to Tenebrae... so when he finally came back from that I didn't even ask what happened... [There's so much guilt in his voice, as if an 11 year-old boy still missing his mother and worried about his father could be considered a bad person for not asking about something when said father finally came home smelling of soot and fire and death and regret.]

He kept Iris and me close for days though, wouldn't let us leave the manor. When I got older - maybe around 13 or 14 - I asked about Tenebrae because we were discussing foreign relations in a class at school. [He's rambling a bit, but it's not easy trying to piece everything together neatly on the fly.]

And Dad's face ... it looked like I'd stabbed him. He said something like 'that was the day I truly learned what it means to be a Shield, and to be a King.' Pretty sure he was talking about having a duty to the Crown that outweighs anything else, and the Crown having a duty to its citizens to survive and protect its heir at any cost. But that's based on what my next pre-Shield lesson covered.

[That might sound like his dad thought Sylvia and Tenebrae were acceptable losses, and that is so far from the truth Gladio quickly reveals something else.] I know he regretted it though, even if he didn't tell me outright. Found some things that told me as much one night.

[He's spoken long enough. Let Ravus ask if he wants to know more.]

Good. I hope it kept him up at night.

[Ravus isn't a good person. Maybe he was, back when he was sixteen. Who knew? But now, he's too bitter. He knows he's a hypocrite. He'd traded his homeland's safety to try to rescue his sister. A Fleuret was supposed to be prepared to sacrifice anything for the Lucian line. He'd turned his back on the sacred duty of his blood for his own selfish reasons.

And he still hopes Clarus suffered for helping the king save his son while leaving Lunafreya behind with the corpse of her mother and with her useless, wounded brother.]

You don't talk about your mother. What happened to her?

It did. A lot. [Gladio can still smell the incense that wafted through the manor's halls most nights. It was that smell that had drawn him to snoop one evening, after all.] We could always tell...

[He wants to let Ravus know what he found - what he'd seen and read about that terrible day. But the subject has already been switched and he'll follow the current flow.]

We were being driven home one night and our driver fell asleep at the wheel. It had been just Mom and me. She liked to take me out so I could study plants in the forests. Even cleared it with Dad as "training" even though we usually just picked flowers and played in the creeks we found. [Amber eyes start out soft, a fond and bittersweet smile playing on Gladio's lips.]

One minute we were on the road and the next we were in the air. One of the flips knocked me out and when I woke up we were at the bottom of a decent-sized drop-off and the car was mangled. I guess I was still small enough because I only had a few cuts but Mom was ... she'd wrapped her arms around me and I could feel where pieces of the car had gone through her but stopped before hitting me. [And if he closed his eyes he could physically feel her body getting colder as his smaller body tried to wiggle out of her literal death-grip.]

She was alive when I woke up though. Guess that's supposed to be a plus. [Spoiler alert: it wasn't.]

[Ravus doesn't want excuses, and he's somewhat aware he shouldn't dredge up Gladio's memories of Clarus suffering, for his lover's sake. He knows Gladio was close to his father, and he can respect that much, even if he'll always hate Clarus. So he doesn't pursue it. If Gladio brings it up, so be it.]

She sounds...kind. Why is it our world let the best people die before their time, when so many who deserved death lived on?

[He's not expecting an answer. He paces back and forth in the clearing, his feet passing through the now-harmless ghost images of the fire.]

She deserved better. But...if she was anything like my mother... [and from what he has heard, he is guessing she is]... she would not have hesitated to sacrifice her life for yours. It feels impossible to live up to that. You constantly evaluate your own life, and whether it could ever be worth what it cost. That doubt never leaves you.

She was so much more than that. But, yea. Mom was kind too. [It's odd to be bonding over the deaths of their mothers but it's also fitting, Gladio thinks. Both of them had wonderful, kind mothers that were taken from them far too soon.]

I'll never be worth her sacrifice. [He says it so plainly, without any doubt or hesitation.]

I'm too much like my dad. Iris is the one who took after Mom, even though she barely had any time with her. I've got my father's anger, his build, hell - I even have his job now. And I already understand his regrets and why he stayed up for days at a time. [Gladio looks off to the side, eyes unfocused as they take in some distant image in his mind.]

Instead of incense I have a garden. And I haven't written anything down for unsuspecting eyes to find and memorize...

[His voice trails off as he shakes his head, reminding himself that Ravus won't care what his dad did to atone for Tenebrae.]

Besides, you did for your sister and your country what your mother did for you just in a different way. Ravus, you willingly sacrificed your own freedom to join the Imperials in an effort to save your sister. You eventually conspired to return the King's sword to Noct in an attempt to help him reclaim the throne. All of that at the cost of your own life. [He looks to his lover, a tiny smile playing across his lips.]

You protected your family and then you protected the world. What mother wouldn't be proud of that?

[Ravus wonders, some days, how it was he and Gladio were able to bond the way they have. And then there are days like these, where he realizes how and why. They are similar in many ways, broken in the same way and forged back together into men who can understand one another's pain.

Ravus doesn't want to think of what his mother would think of his scheming and plotting for revenge for all of those years. He knows he did too little, too late, but he won't turn away Gladio's words of comfort, knowing the spirit in which they are meant.]

Yours would be proud, too. The Chosen King's worthy Shield, a dutiful son, and a brother who treasured his little sister. If she became like your mother, it is because you...and your father...passed your mother's spirit on to her.

[The smile he'd painted on to further comfort his boyfriend wobbles at Ravus' heartfelt words, and his heart squeezes almost painfully when he mentions his father. Knowing how difficult it must have been for Ravus to even try hinting at Clarus Amicitia being anything other than a bastard, the fact that Ravus made sure to include him in his comforting of Gladio only serves to strengthen the love the Shield holds for the Tenebraen.]

Thanks. [His voice is thick with emotion, a combination of sadness, gratefulness, and a desperate wish that his mother was still alive.]

He wouldn't always talk about her, so I was the one to tell Iris about Mom and what she was like. But Dad never took down her pictures. And every year on the anniversary of her death he'd let Iris and me join him in his study to light incense for her.

[He could leave it there, but he doesn't want to. It might not change Ravus' opinion of his dad but that's not the point - it's something Gladio thinks Ravus deserves to know.]

You know... he lit incense and prayed for your mom too. It started the day he came home from Tenebrae. And he lit it every night for years. [A pause, Gladio gathering the courage to continue. Because he's not sure how Ravus will take this.]

... He lit separate ones for you and your sister too, once he found out what Lunafreya did. Had official prayers written up for all three of you by a Tenebraen refugee that came to Insomnia - I knew it wasn't Lucian because I didn't recognize the blessings or the symbols used and I hadn't studied the other nations yet. Once the lighting shifted to once a week, Iris asked me about it and I told her. She said Mom would have been proud of him and after that she never asked me or Dad why the house smelled like incense once a week.

[He's probably said too much, so he abruptly stops talking and waits for Ravus' reaction.]

[Ravus' fists clench. He knows Gladio wants to reconcile his beloved father with his lover. He just...can't. He turns away.]

We didn't need his prayers. We needed his help.

[It's unfair. Sylva might have appreciated such a gesture in her honor. Lunafreya would offer Clarus forgiveness and gratitude for the remembrance. But Ravus knows if he smelled the incense, he'd choke on it.]

You know that I...care for you. I wish you what peace you can find regarding your father's loss. Just...know that some bridges cannot be rebuilt, no matter your efforts.

No, no - Ravus...[Gladio smiles sadly and looks off into the distance.]

I'm not trying to ... I know you'll never forgive my dad and I made my peace with that a while ago.

[It's true. He knows that some wounds are just too deep, and even before seeing this awful day in Ravus' memory Gladio had already accepted that there would never be a time where Ravus felt anything close to forgiveness for his father.

His eyes shine with a mixture of sympathy, empathy, and love as he looks at Ravus.] I thought the last of the Nox Fleuret line should know that its Matriarch was never forgotten by those who knew her and that its Prince and Oracle weren't forgotten either. It... felt like something you should know.

[He takes a deep breath and shakes his head.] Shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry.

No Oracle of Tenebrae is in danger of being forgotten. They touched too many lives while they lived.

[He sighs, willing the lingering anger out with the exhalation.]

You needn't apologize. If I could have a heart as forgiving as my sister...but I do not. I wish it could be different.

[His lips twitch into a half-smile. He knows the words are Ravus' way of offering comfort and he loves him for that - for offering what he can without lying to his face. That honesty is something he values even when it hurts.]

I don't. It... sucks sometimes, our pasts being what they are, but I wouldn't change a thing about you.

[Gladio gives Ravus a true smile then, small but genuine.]

I should be comforting you, Ravus. But I honestly can't think of anything beyond 'I'm sorry' and that's nowhere near enough.

[Ravus huffs out a breath.]

I'm not some weeping child. It is no duty of yours to comfort me.

[He crosses his arms over his chest.]

You are here, and you understand. That is enough. It is not a problem to fix; it is a reality to endure, and that is all that can be done about it.

[And that is as sappy as he will allow himself to get.]

Come, we are leaving.

Cor had to blink a few times before realizing that no, this is not his memory or an illusion. That is...

Yeah, that's Sylvia, the Queen and Oracle of Tenebrae, alive again. And there's Luna as a little girl, eager to help her mother spread holiday cheer to their people. And the lad...

Cor glances over to see the adult Ravus standing alongside him. "...Your mother always had a kind heart."

Ravus has never appreciated her properly, had never known how much he should have treasured her until she was taken from him.

"She would never turn away anyone in need, even when she should have."

He'd wondered, when he'd joined the Imperial Army, how his life would have been different if his mother had said 'no' to Regis' request. It didn't matter, though. Sylva would say 'yes', always, because that was who she was.

"Lunafreya learned everything from her. They were always of one mind."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say that's rather blasphemous to let a healer turn their back on someone in need."

Though Cor still regrets what happened to Tenebrae and their people, there's no regretting asking the Queen for aid when it was truly needed. He just wished that things had turned out better, somehow.

"Still...that's the kind of bravery and selflessness any kind of healer has. NO matter how dangerous, or how terrible the choice may be afterwards, they would never forgive themselves for refusing aid to someone who truly needs it."

Ravus' fists clench tight. "It was my mother's duty to lead, not to die. Healers aren't supposed to sacrifice themselves."

He gestures at the scene around them, the pain and hardship his mother was alleviating from her people.

"This is what my mother did. All of Tenebrae suffered when we lost her." It's only the sight of his mother and his sister, so small and innocent, that keeps Ravus from turning to Cor in a rage.

A Starlight Carol

Spoilers for Kingsglaive

<3

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A Memory of Peace

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