melodiesofeternity | [Closed] Dinner Date

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[Closed] Dinner Date

Who: Kuja, Asriel
When: October 10th
Where: Kuja's home, Yun'Ashia
What: Asriel gets invited to dinner.
Warnings/Notes: Discussions of death, guilt, etc.

Asriel,

So sorry this took so long to find you, but I had some difficulty finding your Mognet address.

I understand our topic of conversation caused you great distress, when we spoke in that coffee shop. Quite possibly you felt it improper to express just how much distress, but for someone used to such a delicate topic it was plain to see. I'd like to offer you a full apology, and assure you I know exactly how you feel.

Please, allow me to offer you dinner at my home in Yun'Ashia, to make amends and, if you like, a private locale to discuss the matter.

-Kuja

Kuja thought, privately, that the message was as discreet as he could make it. Even if someone were to read it over Asriel's shoulder, the only person who could have the faintest inkling of what that topic might have been, was Conway. But he'd seen the monster's expression. He knew it, painfully so. He'd worn it himself all too often, in his more private moments, of late.

He had to know. He had to know if there was someone, anyone, who understood exactly what it meant to feel the unbearable weight of one's sins upon their back.

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"Ahh, hell."

Asriel mutters, inches away from knocking on the door. It had been a trivial thing to set a time and date, given the boss monster had no plans or obligations whatsoever.

This is already awkward, and he knows it. Hell, Mom, or Dad, or even Frisk would probably be telling him off for this... going to the house of a guy he doesn't even know, and one who's... being all weird about "knowing" how he feels. And a gentleman of the night, to boot. But he's definitely not in a position to judge anyone. And... he doesn't have that many people to talk to. Not a therapist anymore, anyway. And somewhere in the back of his mind, something about Kuja seemed familiar... and in a way that made him feel uneasy.

...Which goes to the question of why he's here. Maybe he just... has to know. Has to know what Kuja wanted to talk to him about. Something he said, probably.

...He breathes out slowly, and then knocks loudly upon the door, putting on a smile that's all teeth and awkwardness.

The door opens, and reveals a slightly weary-looking genome. He's not wearing anything fancy (by his standards, anyway), wanting to lend an informal air to the evening. "Ah. Hello. Well, do come in. I've food on the way, gods know I can't cook to save my life, and Mojito's visiting a friend." He even holds the door open.

"I owe you an apology for the obtuse language in my invitation. I worried that someone else might see it and- well, this is a part of me I would very much prefer remain buried. I only brought it up because- well, I saw your expression, when I mentioned, ah." He clears his throat. This is stupidly difficult to actually vocalize.

"Would you like a drink?" He tries, diplomatically.

Asriel scratches his cheek, and sort of stands there, awkward and gangly as he glances inside. "...Uh, thanks, I'm not really that thirsty though." He says, trying to figure out exactly what his brain should be doing right now. Thankfully, or unfortunately, and he's uncertain which, his mouth moves without the mental paperwork to do so.

"...Was it that obvious?"

Anyone could feel bad for having seen horrible things. But that's not what this is.

Was it so clear, to see the regret on his face?

Kuja shakes his head, taking a seat on the sofa. "No. I'd imagine someone else would have assumed a certain amount of discomfort related to the subject of genocide, which is, admittedly, not a pleasant topic of conversation. No, I..."

He sighs. "I have a great deal of experience reading people. It helped, in my line of work, back home. I noticed it because..." There's a pause, and he needs to take a drink, hot tea scalding the back of his throat. "Because I've seen the exact same expression. Every morning, when I look in the mirror. It's the face of a man who's come to realize that he was the villain of his own story, and inexplicably finds himself gifted with a new life he almost certainly doesn't deserve."

Kuja looks up at Asriel, looking... not flippant, or sarcastic, or disdainful, but merely... tired, and sad. "You showed such discomfort because you've committed murder en masse. Yes?"

Asriel looks down again, and finally steps inside, closing the door before finding his way to a chair and sitting down. He looks up at Kuja in the middle of his talk, just taking in the information as he looks into his eyes. His expression is almost unreadable as he finds himself feeling closer to Kuja.

"...Yeah. That sums it up pretty well." He says flatly, glancing back down again at the floor, twiddling his thumbs as he tries to figure out what to say. How do you respond to something like that? Surprisingly, it's almost a relief to Asriel.

"I killed my family. I killed their friends, and I killed their friends. I killed everyone I could find in the worst ways I could imagine. Not that I was very imaginative in retrospect, I guess." He says. He's not told this to many people. But somehow, some dark part of him feels like... maybe Kuja is the only one who could understand on some level that nobody else could. His expression is cold.

"When it was all over, I'd just RESET everything. I'd do it again. See how I could torture everyone I used to love in a new way."

Kuja sighs, and pours himself a glass of wine. He'd got enough bottles of it at the party, might as well enjoy it. Not that he's keen on airing his dirty laundry, but...

"The short version, I suppose, is that I started a war for the sake of causing as much devastation as possible. Delivered weapons into the hands of a power-hungry madwoman, caused the genocide of an entire kingdom and the near-total destruction of two others, all for the sake of petty revenge against the man who created me to do just that."

He takes a long drink of the wine in his glass, leaving not terribly much behind when he comes up for air. "And of course, when it all failed and blew up in my face, I threw a terribly childish tantrum and tried to destroy everything out of sheer spite."

Asriel lays back in the chair, just taking in the information without much expression on his face. He shakes his head, once Kuja finishes, leaning forwards to lean against his hand.

"Honestly, that... sounds pretty similar, doesn't it. Throwing tantrums, too."

It honestly sounds like Kuja's was bigger scale than Asriel's. Asriel only committed near-total genocide on one species. But then, Kuja didn't slaughter his entire family and friends. From the sound of it... Kuja didn't even have much of those.

"Hell. What pieces of work are we?"

Kuja snorts. "I'm not sure. Perhaps an abstract, some sort of collection of paint spatters on a white canvas, some rubbish about the world's purity sullied? Crimson to represent the obvious spray of blood, orange and yellow for the fires of war. Black dripped from the top as a representative of death or something trite like that, I've never understood abstract art."

He's probably rambling. Pouring more wine. "So I suppose I ought to ask. Who was it, in the end?"

Asriel slowly rubs the bridge of his snout. All that flowery language, and painting and colors and..

"That's.. a little too fancy-sounding for me. I think I kinda just feel like garbage."

His hand falls away from his head again as he thinks, and then he leans forwards slightly.

"..Frisk, of course." He says, just sitting there with a glum expression on his face. "They just.. kept going on through the underground. Refusing to kill anyone, making friends with everyone that tried to kill them. I finally got everyone in one place and then.. I took everyone's souls. And I killed Frisk."

He puts an arm up, laying it over his eyes. "And then I RESET it. So many times. I killed Frisk over and over again. After so long... making them suffer was the only thing that did it for me anymore. The only thing I could do without my powers. They were the only interesting thing left."

Moisture is leaking out from underneath his arm.

"And then when I... they.. just kept going. I wanted to destroy them. But I didn't want them to leave. Maybe I wanted them to destroy me. Just, something. And.. t-they.. gave me a hug and..."

Asriel grimaces, wiping his eyes a little. "And... and.. I.. "

"It was a rather feeble joke, I admit." He pauses. "Frisk? Small child, brown hair, strangely androgynous?" The world really is becoming quite small.

"It's stupid, really. Zidane... in a very loose sense, I suppose he was my brother. When I was created, Garland... he made it clear what my purpose was. Accelerate the cycle of death on Gaia. Apparently I proved too... childish, for his needs. Eight years after my awakening, he showed me another genome he'd created to replace me, informed me of the situation, and... well, I responded by throwing an infant onto another planet with precious little idea or care where it ended up. It came back to bite me, of course. Zidane grew up on Gaia, grew to love it. And when I threatened it, he did everything he could to stop me."

Kuja sighs. "I tried to kill him on numerous occasions. Nearly succeeded, twice. And yet... it's the stupidest thing, really. When all my plans blew up spectacularly in my face... there was a moment, I think, when I watched them facing down the monster I succeeded in awakening, I had an epiphany. Could have used the opportunity to flee, heal, save myself- but I didn't. I still don't understand why I spent the last of my magic to get them out. And I understand even less why... why Zidane came back for me. To keep me company while I was dying, or perhaps to save me, it's the sort of stupid thing he'd do- he thought that if our positions were reversed, he'd be the one trying to ruin everything out of spite, and I..."

"He asked me. 'Wouldn't you do the same for me?'"

Asriel listens intently, keeping his arm over his head despite it to steadily regain some semblance of dignity by letting his tears soak into his sleeve. It doesn't exactly work that well.

"...Heh.." Despite it being entirely the wrong response to have to a story like that... Asriel can't stop himself. "Phhah... Hahaha.."

He shakes his head, pulling his arm away, smiling bitterly. "...You had one too. You had your own Frisk." He says, laying limply in the armchair. "...both our siblings. The only ones who got through to us. The only ones that could."

Asriel slowly sits up from his back-leaning. "...no matter how horrible the things we did were. No matter how many times we tried to hill them. They still tried... to SAVE us. Worthless pieces of garbage, but still they.. wanted to give us a chance. Forgiveness we never deserved."

Asriel exhales slowly. "...guess we have more in common than we thought. I wonder if..." Asriel glances down. "..I wonder if they're the reason we're not the ones trying to end the world instead."

He finds himself laughing, as well. It is funny, in that strange, surreal, cosmic sense, isn’t it? “No question in my mind. If it hadn’t been for Zidane, I would have ended the world.”
Kuja sighs, laying back as well, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I’m quite convinced I don’t deserve to live, after all that I’ve done. I’m certain that most people from Gaia would agree with me whole-heartedly, on that front. And yet, somehow… it feels almost insulting to not make some form of attempt to make good on the chance I’ve been given.”

Asriel looks down, nodding as he puts his hand in his other hand. "Yeah. Like, we're miserable pieces of garbage, but someone picked us up and told us.. we weren't. And it wasn't too late."

Asriel slowly shakes his head. "It's hard not to believe when someone all but says that to your face after kicking your butt. I don't believe it every day, but even when I don't.. f

, after that? What can I do but try to prove them right? They deserve that much after everything they've wasted on me."

Edited 2018-12-05 07:30 (UTC)

Kuja nods quietly. "I almost wonder if this is the punishment. Put me somewhere I can't leave and maybe I'll fight to save my own skin, if nothing else."

He sighs. "Do you know, this is perhaps the best I've felt in ages? In a bizarre sort of way, it's almost cathartic."

"Weird, right? Like... you don't have all that baggage, though. Everything back where you came from is still there. And you can't go back to put it on your back again even if you wanted to."

Asriel says, putting his hands together.

"...It's kind of like a forced starting over. I felt that when I.. uh, stopped being a flower.. it feels sort of familiar."

"A... flower?" Kuja's train of thought comes to a screeching halt. "Sorry, but you really must tell me that story."

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[Closed] Dinner Date

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