Ugh. I suppose if we're putting all our cards on the table. I come from a planet called Terra. I never knew it in its 'glory days'- all I know is that the Terrans used it up. Its Crystal was nearly dead, most if not all natural resources were nearly completely depleted, and the ancient Terrans were going extinct. So they stored their souls away and created a golem named Garland, and gave him the task of preserving and, eventually, resurrecting their society. I don't know exactly how long Garland was around, either, but after an indeterminate amount of time, he discovered another planet that was inhabitable, called Gaia. It was quite young, even had its own Crystal. And, regardless of the fact that there were already people living on that planet, he decided to move in. The thing to understand about Garland is that he was extremely... passive. He only acted if he had no other choice. He set up a system that would essentially interrupt the flow of Gaian souls and prevent their return to the planet's Crystal, which had a number of side effects but the goal there was eventually inserting Terra's souls into the cycle when there were none left on Gaia, thus allowing the Terran people to be reincarnated. But things weren't moving quickly enough for him. Five thousand years later with no real end in sight, he decided that what was needed was something to... assist Gaian souls in their journey towards the hereafter. He wanted an 'Angel of Death' to commit mass genocide on the peoples of Gaia. So he made me. I know that children are a thing that exists- and most species have them. I... there was no point at which I was born, or grew up, or what have you, I was created exactly as I am now. Given a soul so that I could have a semblance of thought, and given the task of reaping Gaia's souls so that the process could be completed. I was the prototype, the test model, and he never let me forget it. I did as he asked, godsdammit, and all I ever got was this utter rubbish about how I was 'becoming too independent' and 'losing sight of the goal'. I had my own way of doing things, but that didn't include 'slavish obedience' so while he was working on creating more like me- empty vessels, receptacles for Terran souls- he tried his hand at creating another Reaper. In the form of an infant this time, so that it would have time to... grow. Not become unstable and undesirable. When I found out, Garland just... calmly informed me that I wasn't to worry, that it was my replacement and that as soon as it was mature, I would be... 'retired', I think was the word he used. I mean, what the hell did he think was going to happen, that I was just going to calmly sit and let it happen? Let him throw out my soul like yesterday's rubbish? I had to do something. I had to prove to him I was the only Reaper he needed, if only to save myself, didn't I? I took the damn thing and threw it through a portal to Gaia. Garland was... furious. I'd never seen him actually angry before, but he nearly killed me then and there. I only survived because he still needed me, still needed a Reaper. So he banished me to Gaia, never to return, while he worked on replacing what I'd stolen. And I played along, playing my part as the humbled servant, while I formed a plan to kill him. The years passed, and my war came. A greedy queen with delusions of Empire did most of my work for me- I merely supplied her with weapons, artificial black mages to bolster her forces. All the while I was gathering my secret weapon, my trump card in the fight against Garland. I thought that he feared Eidolons, since he'd worked so hard to see them eliminated. So I sought to capture and utilize the strongest Eidolon... The short version is that my plan worked. I had Alexander within my grasp, and of course it all was ruined. Garland knew about it the whole time. He used his warship, killed Alexander, nearly killed me in the resultant explosion, and left me scrambling to pick up the pieces. My 'Plan B' failed as well, thanks to the intervention of an enemy I'd never expected to see again, the infant I'd abandoned to Gaia, now fully-grown and willing to protect his adopted home with his life. His name was Zidane. 'Plan C', formed on the fly, was in fairness a stroke of simplistic brilliance. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. Gaian souls have a unique capability, you see. It's called Trance, an incredible surge of emotion that carries with it a boost in power, forged of a connection with Gaia's crystal. I could not Trance, since I was Terran, but perhaps with access to Gaian souls, I could manage it. What I needed was access to a large number of imprisoned Gaian souls, and for that I needed Garland's warship, the Invincible. The solution was obvious: bait Zidane and his friends into believing that Garland was the bigger threat than I was, and get them to undo the seal on the portal to Terra for me. After that, it was simple to follow them through, and sneak aboard the Invincible while Garland was dealing with them. They actually defeated him for me, what a surprise there, but once I'd absorbed the energy from those stolen souls, all that was left was the last trigger for Trance- the pain and adrenaline of battle, and a surge of emotion. It worked. I Tranced for the first time, killed Garland, nearly killed Zidane and his ragtag bunch of misfits, and thought my victory was complete. It wasn't. Garland had the last laugh- always had the last laugh. I was only built to last until Zidane reached maturity. I had an 'expiration date'. Perhaps two days, perhaps two months, but it was coming, and for all my power, there was nothing I could do about it. I I didn't take it well. Trance is like... trying to steer an airship in a tornado. It amplifies everything. Anger becomes a bottomless well of rage. Joy becomes utter elation, beyond any bliss you've ever felt- and despair... Well. Anger and despair were all I had left, at that point. I decided, in that state, that if I was going to die, so was everyone else. The world didn't get to exist without me. I burned Terra to a cinder, just to spit on the old man's memory, and from there I enacted a plan that would have had much the same consequence as Narayana's Awakening. I failed, if only because Zidane was there again. I nearly killed them, and still they managed to fight off the beast I awakened and force it back to where it came from. I didn't understand why, it was just a fleeting thought- but Trance makes you impulsive, and I used... the last of my magic to get them out, before the place collapsed on them. I could have saved myself. I still don't know why I saved them instead. And there I might have died alone broken and slowly bleeding to death, but Zidane- the absolute moron- came back for me. I'd tried to kill him three times, and nearly succeeded twice, and he came back for me. I asked him why, and he just... smiled. He thought that, if our positions had been reversed, if I'd been born second, he might have been exactly like I was. "Wouldn't you have done the same for me?" He came back for me. Not to save me, I was beyond saving, but just... just so I wouldn't die alone. So I'd have someone with me, at the very end. I thought about a million things, about how I'd been a monster, how I- how I didn't deserve to live after everything I'd done. How I didn't deserve this, didn't deserve Zidane for a brother... I died. He got out. And... then I woke up on an airship, bound for Vaikuntha. I don't deserve it- really, I don't. I've killed... thousands, at least, on a personal level. Factor in the effects of the war-gods, and... The survivors of Burmecia numbered less than a thousand, the survivors of Cleyra could be counted on one hand. Lindblum and Alexandria were both massive cities, and they both burned, thanks to me. I don't deserve this. But if I took the easy way out- it feels... it'd feel like an insult to Zidane.
no subject
I come from a planet called Terra. I never knew it in its 'glory days'- all I know is that the Terrans used it up. Its Crystal was nearly dead, most if not all natural resources were nearly completely depleted, and the ancient Terrans were going extinct. So they stored their souls away and created a golem named Garland, and gave him the task of preserving and, eventually, resurrecting their society.
I don't know exactly how long Garland was around, either, but after an indeterminate amount of time, he discovered another planet that was inhabitable, called Gaia. It was quite young, even had its own Crystal. And, regardless of the fact that there were already people living on that planet, he decided to move in. The thing to understand about Garland is that he was extremely... passive. He only acted if he had no other choice. He set up a system that would essentially interrupt the flow of Gaian souls and prevent their return to the planet's Crystal, which had a number of side effects but the goal there was eventually inserting Terra's souls into the cycle when there were none left on Gaia, thus allowing the Terran people to be reincarnated.
But things weren't moving quickly enough for him. Five thousand years later with no real end in sight, he decided that what was needed was something to... assist Gaian souls in their journey towards the hereafter. He wanted an 'Angel of Death' to commit mass genocide on the peoples of Gaia. So he made me.
I know that children are a thing that exists- and most species have them. I... there was no point at which I was born, or grew up, or what have you, I was created exactly as I am now. Given a soul so that I could have a semblance of thought, and given the task of reaping Gaia's souls so that the process could be completed. I was the prototype, the test model, and he never let me forget it. I did as he asked, godsdammit, and all I ever got was this utter rubbish about how I was 'becoming too independent' and 'losing sight of the goal'. I had my own way of doing things, but that didn't include 'slavish obedience' so while he was working on creating more like me- empty vessels, receptacles for Terran souls- he tried his hand at creating another Reaper. In the form of an infant this time, so that it would have time to... grow. Not become unstable and undesirable. When I found out, Garland just... calmly informed me that I wasn't to worry, that it was my replacement and that as soon as it was mature, I would be... 'retired', I think was the word he used.
I mean, what the hell did he think was going to happen, that I was just going to calmly sit and let it happen? Let him throw out my soul like yesterday's rubbish? I had to do something. I had to prove to him I was the only Reaper he needed, if only to save myself, didn't I? I took the damn thing and threw it through a portal to Gaia. Garland was... furious. I'd never seen him actually angry before, but he nearly killed me then and there. I only survived because he still needed me, still needed a Reaper. So he banished me to Gaia, never to return, while he worked on replacing what I'd stolen. And I played along, playing my part as the humbled servant, while I formed a plan to kill him.
The years passed, and my war came. A greedy queen with delusions of Empire did most of my work for me- I merely supplied her with weapons, artificial black mages to bolster her forces. All the while I was gathering my secret weapon, my trump card in the fight against Garland. I thought that he feared Eidolons, since he'd worked so hard to see them eliminated. So I sought to capture and utilize the strongest Eidolon...
The short version is that my plan worked. I had Alexander within my grasp, and of course it all was ruined. Garland knew about it the whole time. He used his warship, killed Alexander, nearly killed me in the resultant explosion, and left me scrambling to pick up the pieces. My 'Plan B' failed as well, thanks to the intervention of an enemy I'd never expected to see again, the infant I'd abandoned to Gaia, now fully-grown and willing to protect his adopted home with his life. His name was Zidane.
'Plan C', formed on the fly, was in fairness a stroke of simplistic brilliance. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. Gaian souls have a unique capability, you see. It's called Trance, an incredible surge of emotion that carries with it a boost in power, forged of a connection with Gaia's crystal. I could not Trance, since I was Terran, but perhaps with access to Gaian souls, I could manage it. What I needed was access to a large number of imprisoned Gaian souls, and for that I needed Garland's warship, the Invincible. The solution was obvious: bait Zidane and his friends into believing that Garland was the bigger threat than I was, and get them to undo the seal on the portal to Terra for me. After that, it was simple to follow them through, and sneak aboard the Invincible while Garland was dealing with them. They actually defeated him for me, what a surprise there, but once I'd absorbed the energy from those stolen souls, all that was left was the last trigger for Trance- the pain and adrenaline of battle, and a surge of emotion. It worked. I Tranced for the first time, killed Garland, nearly killed Zidane and his ragtag bunch of misfits, and thought my victory was complete.
It wasn't. Garland had the last laugh- always had the last laugh. I was only built to last until Zidane reached maturity. I had an 'expiration date'. Perhaps two days, perhaps two months, but it was coming, and for all my power, there was nothing I could do about it.
I
I didn't take it well. Trance is like... trying to steer an airship in a tornado. It amplifies everything. Anger becomes a bottomless well of rage. Joy becomes utter elation, beyond any bliss you've ever felt- and despair... Well. Anger and despair were all I had left, at that point. I decided, in that state, that if I was going to die, so was everyone else. The world didn't get to exist without me.
I burned Terra to a cinder, just to spit on the old man's memory, and from there I enacted a plan that would have had much the same consequence as Narayana's Awakening.
I failed, if only because Zidane was there again. I nearly killed them, and still they managed to fight off the beast I awakened and force it back to where it came from.
I didn't understand why, it was just a fleeting thought- but Trance makes you impulsive, and I used... the last of my magic to get them out, before the place collapsed on them. I could have saved myself. I still don't know why I saved them instead.
And there I might have died alone broken and slowly bleeding to death, but Zidane- the absolute moron- came back for me. I'd tried to kill him three times, and nearly succeeded twice, and he came back for me. I asked him why, and he just... smiled.
He thought that, if our positions had been reversed, if I'd been born second, he might have been exactly like I was.
"Wouldn't you have done the same for me?"
He came back for me. Not to save me, I was beyond saving, but just... just so I wouldn't die alone. So I'd have someone with me, at the very end. I thought about a million things, about how I'd been a monster, how I- how I didn't deserve to live after everything I'd done. How I didn't deserve this, didn't deserve Zidane for a brother...
I died. He got out.
And... then I woke up on an airship, bound for Vaikuntha. I don't deserve it- really, I don't. I've killed... thousands, at least, on a personal level. Factor in the effects of the war-gods, and... The survivors of Burmecia numbered less than a thousand, the survivors of Cleyra could be counted on one hand. Lindblum and Alexandria were both massive cities, and they both burned, thanks to me.
I don't deserve this. But if I took the easy way out- it feels... it'd feel like an insult to Zidane.
...
Good gods, I talk too much.