It wasn't a very good day. Vimes felt next to useless in situations like this. There was nobody to chase, and while he'd spent enough time in the care of Dame Slightly to become familiar enough with the written word to be able to read without his lips moving (a major achievement for a young lad from Cockbill Street and, for that matter, an officer of the Watch), he had exactly zero truck with libraries. There wasn't even a friendly orange furball to gently pick you up by the collar and put you down going the other way if you turned down an aisle you weren't supposed to.

"It's a long story," he added, to Corrin. "The short version being, technically I taught me everything I know. Tell you about it over coffee?" Funny thing, that. All of a sudden he had a craving for a boiled egg. Would the local greasy spoon know what he was talking about if he asked for egg and soldiers? Probably not.

He turned, as Uendo returned. "What's going on, then?"