Richard Conway is nothing if not mischievous. He has made a profession on outmaneuvering and outwitting people even after he left his hometown so hard he wound up in an entirely different plane of existence. And in his experience, there are few things more annoying than bureaucracy. Especially the draconian enigma that is the Curti Center Hospitality Offices.

Richard Conway has had to spend five hours waiting in line and being bounced between offices due to the unholy mix of mislabeled occupancy records and the unfortunate, but altogether necessary action of his roommate to move out. Which meant that, since the offices were very not equipped to deal with the possibility that someone remained on the record after they left, meant that he had to go between at least ten different people who had no idea what to do with him.

This, of course, required a petty and disproportionate response.

He stood back and surreptitiously watched the fruits of his labor. The on buttons were off buttons. The tree had every other light dimmed. And most glaringly of all, the great big light up sign that had previously been labelled "Starlight" was broadcasting a very different message.

"Gilt Trash."